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We all grow up with personal habits.  Some we think are good habits, some we see as bad habits, some seem to be good and bad at the same time, some are judged as bad but we swear they are good for us.

Some habits are easier to change, while others seem so deep rooted within us that we feel we can’t change them. Especially when we’ve been cultivating that habit for many years and have tried to change with no success.

So how to go about our habits? 

Are they all good? Are they all bad?  Will I ever be able to change? I hear a lot “I don’t like to change”, “I tried so many times to change”, “That’s just how I am”. Whether those habits are addictions such as drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, gambling or they are simple exercise, eating, thinking and feeling habits that are not helping you to feel good in your everyday life.

The new habit that changed my life

The biggest habit I changed over the last 2 years is to stop criticising myself. And if you ask myself if it was easy and if I changed it all at once, the answer will be a clear “NO WAY”!

Since the realisation I could change that habit of thinking I was not enough, I’ve been experiencing huge empowerment inside myself, in the way I operate in daily tasks, how I succeed in my career, whilst feeling more prepared for when the challenges come my way. It has been a long process of over 10 years digging deep within myself to find my treasures, hidden there for a lifetime, and who knows, many life times.

I had to stop watching the news and TV shows that reinforce the idea of external ideal beauty, I had to let go of friendships that were not supportive to who I truly am, I had to learn a better way to make decisions, to get to know myself so well to let relationships flourish, within and without.

I had to challenge myself to function out of my comfort zone, I had to give one little step at a time, I had to teach myself patience and resilience, I learnt how to breathe and regulate my nervous system, I had to find my inner self all along the way.

In a nutshell, there is no quick fix for our deep rooted habits.  The only way to change is step by step, day after day, choice after choice, month after month and year after year, enjoying the rewards and trusting what needs to be transformed. It is about keeping positive, seeing the good in everything, everyone and every situation. It is about to be ready to experience the unknown. It’s about having the patience with ourselves and the faith in life. It’s about learning how to trust our intuition, and embrace our inner nature.

External goals  X Internal goals

I have always been an ambitious goal orientated person. Every goal I set myself, I achieve. Some goals took longer than others.  I used to set a lot of money, career and  relationships goals.  I achieved them all.

As a good Aquarian, I love a challenge, so I guess after having achieved many external goals and feeling successful that way, I realised that it was time to FEEL successful, rather than just LOOK successful.

Money became a partner to help me experience life in a positive, kind and appreciative way, rather than a crutch for happiness. It is just with courage in our daily lives that we let go of expectations people have about how we should be, do or think. It is just with self-acceptance that we can brush ourselves off when we fall, forgive our own mistakes and keep going.

Change sometimes it is easy, the difficult part is to deal with the emotions and challenges that come with it.  

Practical way to learn the 3 habits that need your attention

You probably know by now what you would like to change. Maybe close friends and family have pointed that out to you encouraging you to change.  Maybe by now you know the bad aspects of it, which also makes you aware of the good aspects of it.  YES, bad habits make you FEEL GOOD!! They do!!

But now that you know that any change takes patience, self-belief and courage to keep choosing what nurtures us (seriously I used to hate that word “nurture”.  I was so harsh with myself that I thought nurturing was way too girly and unnecessary bullshit, only for weak people!! What a great shortcut to unhappiness it was!!), please get your pen and paper ready.

It’s very important to follow each step as suggested and writing is the key for changing the brain, even though you feel tempted to just run the answers in your brain, let the paper have your magic answers.

Draw 4 rows in your paper and number them 1 – 2 – 3 – 4

On row number 1 I’d like you to write words of what you want to experience from now on. Use your own words and sentences around love, freedom, abundance, connection, patience, peace and so forth.  Don’t worry about other people’s desires, just focus in your internal deep desires. If anything was possible, what would you like to experience, or to have or to do?

On row number 2 What is the most important quality I must start developing this year in order to experience more of what I wrote on number 1 (go back and read your own words before proceeding)? Write down the VERY first thing that comes to mind and ignore the judgements around it being impossible to change, or doubting your ability to deal with the consequences and trying to find something easier.  I promise, this time it will be different. A lot of people stop here on the change process, we want to keep going, you are doing well.

On row number 3 What NEW attitudes, rituals, habits, actions would support developing that quality that is the most important for you right now? Right down the VERY 3 first things that comes to mind, even though you think it can be too hard to implement.  Many people stop here on the change process, we want to keep going. It could be as simple as waking up one hour early each day,  or doing something different each day, joining a new arts class, start some new study, be determined to practice being patient, or kind, or commit to slow down. If you write more than 3, trust yourself to choose only 3 of them.

On row number 4 What would get on the way of you putting those new supportive and nurturing actions together in your life? Transcribe the 3 NEW habits that will support you to experience more of all that you want and write all the restriction next to them.  You may find financial/time/resources restrictions. Trust that you will choose one restriction for each habit. You may even find repeated restrictions. Whatever restrictions you pointed, these are the ones to be aware of and find creative ways to change. So let’s say you can’t find time for a habit that is going to make you feel FREE, or HAPPY or SLIM, so nobody else, but YOU can tweak things around in order to find that time, honour that and deal with the consequences, bit by bit.  You can have thoughts that you may upset people, or feel guilty, or feel frustrated and that is what your breath is for, to keep feeling comfortable with the uncomfortable and move through to the other side, when things become easier and your body gets used to a new YOU. I am curious about what turnaround this will bring to your life in as quick as 3 months.  This had brought many turnarounds to my life and I wish the same wonders to you!

Keep on being more of yourself!!

And remember that I am always here to support you with face-to-face private Kinesiology sessions as well as Skype Kinesiology sessions.

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Find more freedom in your body. Start today.

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